Flashback #3: Gruelling Haluansiswa

Finally, I made the decision to accept the offer to read science in UM.

Where should I begin with? The first day was much akin a nightmare for me. Upon arrival at the college (hostel), I was stunned or rather upset by its condition- old, dirty, gloomy.Totally an uncomfortable and not condusive environment for studying. I didn't like it at all and how I wished that I could leave immediately. Which freshie didn't?

Another thing was the stern-looking seniors or pembantu mahasiswa (PM) to be precise. None of them looked friendly or as Calvin said, they purposely put up a cool face?

After cleaning the room and unpacking my things, Shenyang came over. Then, we had our very first lunch together in the dewan makan. Fried ricwe with chicken, not bad, I thought. FYI, we are charged RM10 per day, a difference of RM3.50 compared to other hostels as meals are provided, 3 times a day. So this should give u an impression of how the food is.

The haluansiswa (orientation) kicked off with the PMs introducing themselves and reminding us how great it was to enter UM (that was before its #1 uni in Malaysia status took over by UKM). We were given a polo tee and a tee which we wore for the whole week, without being washed!

On average I only slept for less than 3 hours everyday. Our timetables were packed with activities. No free time for suka-suka or tak buat apa-apa. Some ended as late as 12.00 a.m. Plus the time to gather everyone and walked back to hostel, together,then, waited for everyone to settle down took at least 1 hour. After that, the PM will either nag or scold us. That took away another 1 hour. Cheer practices took another 1-2 hours. What's left for us? And we needed to wake up and gathered as early as 6 am after that for senaman pagi.

During meal time, we were ordered to eat with our hands, no fork and spoon! Big trouble for me since I'm not used to that. I have no choice but to skip the first few meals and ate biscuits instead. Besides, sardin and kubis masak ikan bilis (yg tak masak) werent that appetizing anyway.

We had to attend numerous talk, speeches, sesi bersama tetamu khas, from the one by our own pengetua kolej kediaman till by some ministers, with their pidato-s. Well, imagine that you was so sleepy and it was so comfortable inside the DTC, yet you can't do so, either risking the fact that you might be on air and watched by everyone scolded by the PMs. The rest were chit chatting or sms-ing, some wondering "bila lah dia nak berhenti ni?".

Filling PTPTN form session was the worse amongst the activities conducted. It was pathetic. Thanks to the few PMs who themselves are confused and bad tempered, as well as those with incomplete documents and asked stupid questions. It was totally a mess.

One interesting part was the tradition of sub/sorak (cheer) other colleges. I must said we were lucky as we weren't tortured i.e. practice till late at night and our cheers were kinda short. Thus, not impressive at all and we really takut kena boo lah. Thank god we didn't end up at the last place. Who would forget "lu shin chan" or "wuak terlentang"? <-- what's that by the way? (which Calvin commented was pretty disgusting)

For all the formal functions that took place in DTC or sports event at the field, we walked down together. Walking under the blazzing sun is not enough, we must wore the cap to show uniformity<-- crap lah. Once while waiting for everyone to get ready, I took off my cap for a while because of the poor ventilation in dewan makan and my cell-leader ( you-know-who) was quick to notice and teased me "I tau la rambut u tu cantik, but tolong lah pakai topi, nanti kena marah". Speechless.

In UM, we need to register the courses by ourself which means that we can arrange own timetable. However, it was based on first come first serve basis. The day when we rushed down to the computer lab in library was unforgettable. The PM afraid that we might late and did not get what we want. Luckily most of us got what we wanted.

Throughout the whole week, I made alot new friends from all over Malaysia and coincidently we were "connected" to one another. I would have ended up in the same hostel with my ex-best friend from primary school if he accepted the offer. Chee Beng, Wai Chung's best friend whom I met before, once, was there too, though it took me few conversations to realise he's the one. Wei Lun from neighbouring Dato Lokman was Muh Tyng's primary school friends and he knew Shin Yie from NS. What a small world we live in~!!

The best-of-all was the closing ceremony. I was glad that it will finally end. Thanks to Adam, the kaki clubbing who became so excited, I was pulled into the water, cheering, singing and shouting with them, along with Tze Kui, while others were sleeping! A sign of relief when my college didn't get the last place for overall performances throughout the haluansiswa week.

No doubt, it was tiring. Personally, it was bittersweet. Some might think that was the worst week of their life but I believed all of us would agree it was memorable. Like what out PMs said, once a lifetime experience. Nevertheless, we learnt alot from this gruelling, unforgettable yet enjoyable one week.

Flashback #2: My Choice

Around May this year I enrolled in UTAR. Not all of my friends knew it. I couldnt figure out a good answer if I'm being asked the reason. It was a sudden decision anyway.

OK. The next thing is that I need to tell myself that I'm a student again, after so many months and accept the fact that I was alone in UTAR!

First day in UTAR? Oh, certaintly I wouldn't forget that. How could I? It was full of hiccup. Things just went wrong. The admin staff weren't that friendly and warm towards freshies like me. The office was damn crowded with everyone busy handling their forms, paying fees and copying timetable, comparable to the end-year sales in MNG I guess. Luckily I met a former senior of SAB who he helped me abit.

Then, I wandered around aimlessly, not knowing what to do and where to go next. The campus wasn't that big and that was the problem! No where to go. The canteen was so packed. And I was so annoyed to the extent that I actually smsed my friends to complaint how pitiful I was, then. How childish I was that time.

Guess what? I was told that UTAR FES was full of nerds and it's the most quiet one amongst other campuses. I was mislead! And I had a culture shock on the very first day. Adui, the probabilty of meeting funky-dressed ones is higher than in Times Square. Out of 10 guys who wear spectacles, 8 of them had those thick-framed, trendy frames. Out of 10 persons, at least 8 or 9 dyed their hair. It was more like a fashion show over there.

Well, the first week was tough, when I had no friends, when I wasn't really keen in making one. Most of them seem to know each other as they were either from TAR or foundation. It was kinda hard to jump into conversations with strangers. Though I saw many lonely souls just like me, I didn't make any move such to talk to them. People think that I was rather "dao".

Things turned better when I met Christina or Eugene, followed by Alfred and Iping. These four remarkable persons are the one who totally brighthen up my days. They are the fab 4 whom I considered as close friends then, and now. Cheers~!!

I knew Christina and Eugene from chemistry laboratory class. Perhaps I was destined to know them? How? We were asked to form groups of 3 and I had joined this group which consists of a girl and a guy who can't speak cantonese at all- gosh, I quickly switched and joined Christina and Eugene instead. The girl (who can't speak cantonese) was damn "tulan" at me.

What so special about both of them? They are banana-s (don't speak mandarin). In a place where majority speaks mandarin, I still met such people, don't you think I was lucky? The most important thing was that we worked along very well in our chemistry experiments. We were superb, I felt we were a strong team. And I knew wé were in the right channel when we thought of the same about our beloved lecturer- Dr. Loh!

My first conversation with Alfred was rather awkward. It never came across my mind that we actually could get along, pretty well to be exact. I brought this glutton to wai sik gai for dinner. In return, he invited me to Penang for a short trip. Bonded by alot of common interest (food, travelling, aquatic plants, camera) and similar background, we got close very fast.

Remember I mentioned the girl who was annoyed when I switched groups without informing them? Iping lah, who else? SS all the time! Sweet and smart leh! and syiok sendiri, of course. Some might mistaken her for those mui-mui who always peep at guys (oh, she does too!) , she proves herself to be a very supportive friend, and never fail to give precious advice when I really need it.

A bunch of nerds? OK, our STPM/A Lvl results automatically put us in that category. But we were NOT! In fact, we hardly talk about studies at all. Amazed? OK we spent most of the time in library, that was because we have no where to go!

While others paying attention to the lecture, we were either busy telling stories, looking at what's other people is doing or laughing at each other's jokes. Other than that, me and Eugene would have fell asleep. Alfred left the class half way and Iping peeping at the cuties. Typical scenario in a lecture hall.

Other than the fab four, Choy and her gang had been really nice to me. Not forgetting Liz, who showed me around in campus during open day and the first few days. Her existance made it easier for me to adjust to my new campus life. Thanks for everything.

Time passed so fast. Almost one month. When things started to get heated, when friendship blooms, I chose to leave UTAR. What a bad ending to this chapter. And the journey continues...

Flashback #1: When You Failed To Work Out Your PLan

My original plan: work till May, have a rest, go for holidays and hang out with my friends before the uni intake.

However, things didn't turn out that way.

Out of sudden, I enrolled in UTAR and that spoiled everything. The only difference that it took up 5 days instead of 6 working days but I had to woke up really early. Anyway, I endured that for almost a month before the I finally arrived at the big crossroad of my life i.e. when the uni application was out.

Looking back, things actually turned out to be better than what I expected.

Forget about travelling. Nobody going to accompany me anyway. Besides, most of them were working and travelling alone wouldn't be fun.

Secondly, in UTAR, i met alot new friends. When my friend Alfred went back to his hometown, I tagged along. The pearl of the orient was never that beautiful when I was there 10 years ago! He was indeed a great tour guide and gluttonous me enjoyed all the mouthwatering dishes which Penang is famous for- asam laksa, char koey teow and cendol.

And surprisingly, I hang out more often with my friends too. Compared to while I was working, I managed to go for movies or lunch with them and I spent every weekends with them. Miss those days.

Though I was officially uni undergraduate that time, I didnt really flipped through the books. Felt abit guilty now.

That month was indeed wonderful and unforgettable- new friends, Penang outing, hang outs. What I've learnt was when things didn't work according to plans, don't get upset, who knows what will happen next, rite?

Be The Best, Beat The Rest... In A COOL Way

You don't need to appear as a nerd to do well in the examination. This is what people in UM taught me, though i believe it happens at other universities too =P

1. Spend most of your time socializing. Pretend to be the type who doesn’t like to study and mock the nerds. Convince others that those rarely come out of their rooms must be bookworms. When others finally turn their lights off, you can start to burn midnight oil, make up for all the time you lose while acting the whole day! Or if you have streamyx, sign into your MSN to let others know your existance and assume you online most of them. Nobody will know if you are actually reading that Biology Campbell or Raymond Chang Chemistry.

2. Join lots of activities, societies and clubs. Give the impression that you have no time left for revision. No one will point out your stupidity for doing something beyond your limits. If you do well, time to show off~the one who don’t do much revision still pass with flying colours while the nerds did badly! Otherwise, just blame it that you were too busy till you have no time to study. Remember the bad workman always blame its tools. This strategy works perfectly well for those not-so-brilliant but active in coco. No offence ya.

3. Be consistent in asking the lecturer questions after each lectures. (Of course DON'T LET YOUR FRIENDS SEE THIS) Whether the lecturer will be impressed or think you're just idiotic, that's up to him/her. Make sure the lecturer knows who you are and most importantly, have a good impression of you. Who knows, this may help, especially in subjective papers? Means bodek a bit laa…Highly recommended for good looking ones. You have the advantage.

4. If you happened to miss a lecture, get the notes from at least 3-4 persons-to make comparisons and if possible, ask what the lecturer said, WORDS by WORDS. Double check what one person said without another person, just in case the first person forgotten something or purposely mislead you.

5. If you happen to get extra notes, tips or past year papers, keep it ONLY for yourself. Why wanna share with the rest? Anyway, they won’t share with you either. This only applies in situations where the only way to get the past year papers is from your senior. Otherwise, if it's so convenient to download them, why susahkan yourself? If kena tangkap by your friends, then you'll be in deep shit. Well I understand one needs to be selfish, just make sure you dont get caught.

6. Borrow some good reference books from the library and keep renewing it so that nobody gets it. If you found a book that might be useful, hide it. Put it on the same shelves of those ancient books. Let me tell you something, not everyone knows how to search for a particular book in the library.

7. Be close to those who had lots of reference books. If you're not close to that person, just ask anyway, not everyone knows how to say NO. Even if few of them had the same book (rarely happen though), grab those as well! Yes, take the same copies of the same book, but be wise la don't let them know. They might have tips or extra notes hidden inside, who knows? When they finally fell into the trap, avoid returning to them on time. Give stupid excuses. (such as forgotten and etc) Nobody dares to scold you. Caution: Do this at your own risk.

8 When the final is just around the corner, announce to everyone that you haven’t start on reading a single page, when you actually had gone through the notes few times. Exaggerate as much as possible! (such as which topics will be tested and so on) the naive ones will definitely believe you while the smart ones laughing at the back la. Pretend as if you don’t even know the venue and time.Though this is kinda silly la but some still practice this. As usual, if you have tips, don't bother to tell anyone. If they caught you red handed, set up false tips. Try to circulate them through sms as well.

9. Just before sitting for the paper, go and disturb the rest. Make them panic and stressed. Give them the impression that studying last minute is not cool at all. Most easily fall into this trap! Which guy wanna look like a nerd in front of his secret crush? However, do it only if you’re well prepared, otherwise hide at that corner and start to flip through your notes again.

10. After the exam, you can either tell them you did lots of mistakes (exaggerate again, of course!) or just said it was OK. If the majority think they did badly, go with the flow. Keep your fingers crossed that you will do well. Everybody does that so be a little different. You need to CURSE the rest. Your prayers might be answered.

Lastly, upon getting that c.g.p.a of 4.00, shout loudly (no need to shout, just make sure you worst enemy heard it)

"eh I didn't study also can get 4.00, so unexpected~"

In a nutshell, KIASUISM rules.

and I'm sick of it =(

disloyal, selfish, dependent

No further elaboration needed. Three phases above sums it all. The truth hurts. I will remember this.

life's still like that

some updates about my life.

first of all, i am rather surprised that many knew the existance of this blog, that they even linked to my. forgive me. perhaps i've forgotten that's the main purpose of blog-for others to find out about one's life.

secondly, i'm delighted that my friends still visit this abandoned site when the owner hardly updates anything. at last, there's a new entry! =)

stressed is dessert?

life has been great so far!
..
...
..
ok, i LIED. there are things just didnt go smoothly. i'm pressured by my coursemates in UM. seriously. i didnt do well in my studies and as the final exam is approaching i'm becoming hysterical! this is even worst than pre-STPM days, the way i see it and i don't know why.

perhaps it's because of the intelligent, smart and clever ones in UM?

or is it because of their kiasuism and selfishness?

either way, i am stressed. this wasn't the uni life i thought would be.

love and break-ups:

last week, i found out that 2 of my friends broke up with their boyfriends, luckily one of them actually reattached the next day. what is this thing called love? why it brings happiness and tears at the same time ? something which i don't understand and perhaps others were right, love is blind.

on the phone, i don't know what i should say to console them or what is the right thing to say, though i really wish to make them feel better, especially when the person is crying...

however, i learnt that the best thing to do is to listen to what they gotta say. and i'm glad that they actually turn to me when they need a crying shoulder. well, though it's broken, life still goes on right?


current obsessions-music:

Leo Ku has released his latest album titled HUMAN and just like the others, i love the track love too late though i'm rather disappointed with the duet version. simple lyrics and nice melody.

i love most of the tracks in Li Sheng Jie's new album: ABOUT YOUR SONGS, especially yan di xing kong, hen xing shuo and zui jin. ok, i know i'm pretty outdated but what to do? i'm stranded there with wireless connection worse than 56 dial-up.

i

from David Tao's Beautiful, so far i like tai mei li and jin tian ni yau jia gei wo, feauturing Jolin Tsai. The part "Jolin in the house, DT in the house"is so cute...

oh, i nearly forgot about Justin Lo's touched. besides that, there are just so many nice songs by SHE, Jolin, FIR etc.

lastly, i want to say- I WANNA GO SING K !! has been ages since the last time i ever stepped into redbox or neway.

i found this software, in which i can draw organic structure. it's so cool! i thought i would have to do it using microsoft word alone.

now u can try to name the following structure which i think doesn't exist at all...

ok, it's late now, technically i should say it's early now, 3.34 am in the morning and less than 5 hours later i gotta attend lecture. so i should get some rest.

everyone take care ya. cya.

farewell is reunion in another way

hurray! i'm back! where have i been? no where... i know i had alot to blog but for the time being, let's put UM's thingy aside.

i had my term break early last month and clearly timing wasn't right: i wanted to go out but most of my UM pals had balik kampung. alfred, iping, christina and gang were having their final exam. stacy started working. pearly, wen cheong and the rest was rather busy. i thought i would be bored. worse, i still had few tests right after the holiday, that pathetic one week.

and that was the seasons of farewell too. i mean, xinyee and mohan had a joint gathering which i couldn't make it, followed xin yee's farewell inivitation. then, i was told that felix and mun ling would leave soon.

1. xin yee's farewell dinner:

we had steamboat in ampang. for me,it was more like a reunion as we hardly sit down and talk, for quite long time, since the last day of stpm i guess.

it was something like all-you-can-eat style where you were free to grab as much as you want. we seized enormous amount of meat and vegetables that in the end we couldn't even finish them. as for desserts, we had ice kacang, ice cream, agar-agar, kuih, sushi, shark fín's soup (artificial one, of course) and lots more.

and we took lots of photos, of course ;-)

everyone who attended the dinner were inside, except for the photographer, of course.

what a lovely couple cooking together?
no la, he was her junior and cook for the day as well...

me and yue-we entered UTAR together and now she had completed her first semester, enjoying while i'm still struggling in UM...

xinyee's friend, yue and ying ying left early. and we ( me, kha wai, nguk lin, may hwa and xin yee) continued chit chatting. oh, we shared alot of stories, mostly about uni life (haluansiswa, banananess, hostel life etc)

then only i realised one thing: four of us were from 5 M! just like the time we used to borak kosong whenever we were free

nguk lin, who else is luckier than her to get a former classmate as roomate? becoming prettier day by day...

hmmph... just a false illusion. others will quick to notice that i'm not as tall as miss lanky.

and kha wai... you still owe me a favour for getting that super-heavy organic book from UM...

and they had a common thing: all of them doing courses related to CHEMISTRY! i had enough of chemistry, really...though i like it

last but not least, my dearest xin yee.... wakakkakkaka

xin yee, puva and me - taken upon getting our spm results 2 years ago. and let's compare to teh current xin yee i know- it's amazing to see how much she changed (now even dyed her hair), how far she went (very far indeed)while i'm still lagged behind, wandering around aimlessly.

she is brilliant, smart and determined. so, i strongly believe one day she will achieve her dream in becoming a doctor. gambateh!!

2. felix's SS (syok sendiri) session:

again, this is another reunion. i didnt see stacy for few weeks, amanda and gianne for few months and felix, for mor than a year!

i was late. upon arrival, they finished their meal and we proceeded to the park to take photos and thus, syok sendiri la, apa lagi. luckily we didn't do anything tak senonoh, otherwise we would have ended up with a saman and made a headline in the newspaper...

ok, i admit we did a lot tak senonoh action, but that's for the sake of possing in front of the camera. it was so fun! wait till i get the photos from stacy.

judging from this shot, i believe felix, amanda, gianne and stacy enjoyed ourselves very much. though it was short, i had a great time and it reminded me of the good old days we used to lepak in klcc and the park, as well.

in short i wish both them all the best in their studies. they won't be back for some time, so i'm glad that i met them before they departed. as for mun ling, whom i didn't manage to meet up with due to my indecisiveness, we keep in touch ya!

everyone, it's me again, exactly 3 weeks after my last post. at last, i made up my mind to stay in UM. u're right, i'm one of the lucky ones who secured a place in local university and at the same time, it was the reason i was so confused and stressed for the past one month. that's another story.

anyway, i'll be talking science *call it a lousy course if u wish, that's totally up to u*. i'll stay in the hostel on weekdays and return home on weekends. so i still can hang out as usual. heh.

i'm still alive~!!

hey, i'm back!! i havent update this blog for quite some time.

many things happened over these few months. one of them actually changed my life. guess that i'm truly blessed. on the other hand, i went through the toughest period of my life where things just went wrong. gosh, how i wish it never happened in the first place.

i have a lot to say and share here but too bad, i cant do it now. i'll be away at least for one week. till then, everyone take care ya.

regards,
joe

at last, i'm back. it has been almost a month since my last entry.

earlier i posted the lyrics of because of you by kelly clarkson. now only i realise the lyrics are so meaningful, something which i can relate to in my life.

speaking of music, "superwoman", gary chao ge's cover of karyn white's 1988 hit is a superb. i love the melody but the part that i like the most is his falsetto. his live performance was great.

besides i'm so impressed with jj's latest album cao cao. personally i like 只對你說 and 原來 . since the 1st album, he has improved so much, both in singing and looks as well, dont u agree?

i wasnt aware that there was this meet-fans-session in sg wang until pearly told me. she's a lucky girl- attend that and the promo tour at pgrm. the only regret she had is that wasnt being able to shake hands or take photos with him.

***
ooh about the ranting, as usual, life's like that, but i swear, something bloody serious did happen this time. whether it is serious or not, it really depends how u view it. so if u dont know, dont guess.

oh, the results for psd scholarships was out few days ago. as expected, there were many complaints and disappointments, from both parents and students. u see, the same thing happens every year. let's not debate on who's who is more deserving (none of my bussiness anyway) but i would like to share something that caught my attention.

i saw this in a forum, a rejected applicant posted his details ie his excellent achievements, guess what, his parents earn abt 12k a month! ok perhaps that's not much considering he wants to do medic overseas.

but that made me keep thinking, whether scholarships have gone astray from its original purpose, which is to help those who are brilliant but poor? i know scholarships should be awarded to those who high achievers and all rounders but shouldnt it be a financial aid to those who really need it? there are some with very good results got rejected which some, whose parents are dato and so on got it. cant they afford to give their children a decent education? perhaps what they want is just glamour?

no psd, go to form6. reminds me of what i go through though i know i'm not qualified for it. form6- reminds me of alot of things too. haha. wanted to pay a visit to teachers in school, i'm really thankful to some of the teachers who are really dedicated to their job.

another scenario, imagine that u got into the uni/college and taking the course which u like so much. isnt that a very good reason to celebrate? but when ur worst nightmare come true, someone whom u dislike so much turns out to be ur coursemate, how do u feel? that scares me, at least i still can keep my fingers crossed with wont happen, unlike my friend who isnt so lucky.

enough of crap. i should be sleeping by now.

trust issues come back to haunt me. i often ask myself- how much i trust my friends? and vice versa.

when i repeated the same mistake again, i felt guilty. though i promised to be a fair person, i must admit, at times i am quite biased.

i felt that i have been pushed to the limit where i have absolutely no choice at all-dead end. it sounds exagerrated, yeah it is. in short, i'm too stressed.

to that friend, sorry from the bottom of my heart. i wont claim i'm totally innocent or being irresponsible. however, i wish u can see things from my point of view too.

a friend in need is a friend indeed. the series of unfortunate incidents is more like a blessing in disguise. without them, i wouldnt have figure out who will be there for me, when i need friends the most.

sometimes, what one needs is just a good listener. dont u think so? yet many of us failed to realise that, or worse- dont bother to do so or cant resist that on9 game or juicy gossips are much more interesting?

they didnt help much other than being a listener and giving advices.i understand they cant do anything over the split milk. i appreciate their effort and time spent on me.

there are some who are insensitive. yet, they accused others of being too sensitive. what's lack here would be tolerance and understanding. we are blessed with brains that made us the most advanced species, and how funny to know that some cant even distinguish between right or wrong.

having a friend to talk all night long is such a pleasant experience. he had been such a wonderful friend, minus the arguements, missunderstandings, which i deem as normal. we shared so much all life that none of us realised time passed so fast.

everyone knows there's no turning back in life. how i wish i can just press the button "undo" and everything back to square one. i still have nightmares. some mistakes in the past still haunt me. i'm guilty.

perhaps in the future, i will be grateful. if not for these obstacles, i wouldnt grow up. when things just dont happen as i want it to be, i have learnt to move on. remember life goes on.

because of you

I will not make the same mistakes that you did
I will not let myself
Cause my heart so much misery
I will not break the way you did,
You fell so hard
I've learned the hard way
To never let it get that far

Because of you
I never stray too far from the sidewalk
Because of you
I learned to play on the safe side so I don't get hurt
Because of you
I find it hard to trust not only me, but everyone around me
Because of you
I am afraid

I lose my way
And it's not too long before you point it out
I cannot cry
Because I know that's weakness in your eyes
I'm forced to fake
A smile, a laugh everyday of my life
My heart can't possibly break
When it wasn't even whole to start with

I watched you die
I heard you cry every night in your sleep
I was so young
You should have known better than to lean on me
You never thought of anyone else
You just saw your pain
And now I cry in the middle of the night
For the same damn thing

and lastly, because of you, i'm who i am today.

hey everyone, i'm back. * i'm still alive*

lately, i was too tired so i have no time for blogging or even online.

received a bad news few days ago. i accepted it though i'm rather upset at how things turn out and most importantly, i'm disappointed at myself. self-guilt

a friend had been very sarcastic lately. i cant stand that person anymore- how can someone be so fake all the time? that's annoying and i'm very irritated at the person's words and action.

right now, i'm in hot water for some trouble which i had yet solved.

u see, i've been experiencing all sorts of bad luck since march. sigh. it's like sudah jatuh ditimpa tangga.

why life gotta be like this? it's so unfair.

another get-together

i know this is pretty lame but we had another reunion the other day.



















it's so fun to put everyone into one room and started chit chatting. oh, i miss ICQ-ing.

the deleted entry

guys i'm back. no, it wasnt any post-stpm-result depression as some of u might think. i was just busy.

actually i posted one lengthy entry abt something (someone) that pissed me off so much. however, for some reasons, i decided to remove it.

whatever happened, happened. i cant pretend as if nothing took place. try to take it as a blessing in disguise.

listen, it's over now.

time flies by again, it's april now. up to my expectation, march was full of hassles.

it never came across my mind we actually had more gatherings to discuss abt the courses than study groups before the exam. guess i could never forget the troubles i had throughout that period. i was so stressed.

but, at the end of the day, the most valuable thing i've learnt is to make decisions and yes, i'm aware this one would change my life.

thx to everyone for their opinions and comments. not forgetting to express my gratitude to li lin and sharon for giving me so much crucial information.

well, i'm glad to say everything is over now. once and for all. no more headaches abt application stuff. the only thing i need to do now-keep my fingers crossed that things will work out as planned.

...
i dont know where i'll be posted. i dont know what course i will get. insecurity kills me. i feel life is so hopeless.

that day *edited version*

better late than never. trust me, i still remember every single moments of that fateful day clearly.

reminiscing...
***

woke up early to prepare myself, online awhile and chatted with jackie, who was just as nervous as me. received lots of sms-s, from pearly and yoke, making me even more shacky.

arrived in school around 10.45 a.m. upon arrival, saw yue who had taken her slip. met kha wai and friends, they looked happy. nobody was crying, i guess overall's performances was good.

i lingered around but i knew i cant escape it. i entered the hall but pn. sakinah was nowhere to be seen. i approached pn. hanifah instead.

"cekgu, result i macam mane? nanti i heart attack kang..."
"cekgu pun tak tau...tengok le sendiri..." she was looking for my script.
"ni pun...bukak la... i tak tau result kamu..." she continued, sambil senyum2 kambing. me -_-"
then she told the reporters
"ni pun salah satu skolah kite punye murid cemerlang..."
...
reporters turned their attention at me. i was puzzled. i was like "wtf...."

my heart was beating so damn fast. i had this scary feeling throughout the process. suddenly, yoke, shin, kailiang, chian appeared out of nowhere and i was surrounded by them. i didnt even to have time to look at them * dah lama tak jumpa ma...* my hands were shaking.

"dont be nervous!!faster open...faster!!!..." yoke exclaimed.
i tell u, she was more nervous than me.
"aiyo..dont scare me. your hands are shaking le..." shin was trying to calm me down too.

>>fast forward>>

at last, it was done. i saw my results. i was kinda numb that time. so i didnt feel anything.
didnt have time to think anything. it was their turn...
ok. their result were ok too. after few session of comparing, yoke wanted to count her cgpa. i was so gelabah and my hands were still shaking.
"use hp la..." i mentioned. aiks, we were so kelam-kabut that time.
then the teacher borrowed her calculator to us.
i pressed the button
w.ww + x.xx + y.yy + z.zz =
but i accidentally pressed the clear button and the screen became empty again..
-_- "
"calm down" i told myself.

>>fast forward>>

pn hanifah passed a white paper to me, which the title was "biodata murid cemerlang"...
-_-" wtf!?!?!?!?
i was speechless. * my result is like damn bad, yet u still gave me this?"
the reporter came over and interviewed me, i was really at loss of words.
"how's ur feeling?"
"ok ler..."
"answer longer pls... describe ur feelings..."
"i m satisfied with it" * i was practically lying. get me, berbohong terang-terang...*
"so what's ur secret of ur success?"
"..."
*speechless man. wth?!?!?!. what had i achieve that u call it a success? menyindir ...*

>>>fast forward>>>

initially i choose to leave out this part but this entry wouldnt be a complete one without it. aiks...it was so embarassing, i mean, what on earth that they want to interview me? luckily i wasnt on air, if not, everyone can see how stupid i was that time. worse, ppl might think i pergi berebut-rebut masuk tv. haha.

then, chit chat with each other for some time while waiting for others to arrived. to be precise, we were waiting for the top-student (muh tyng) to come while kha wai made a call to randall and congratulated him in advance.

oh finally she arrived in mei chern's car, nt sure if anyone leaked out the results to her. and i saw this. * this's gonna be interesting*

someone practically dashing towards the hall, from the office if i wasnt mistaken. wearing a tudung. abit plump.
ermmm...
guessing?
try harder...
...
yeah la, her la, who else?

she sticked herself to muh tyng, hah, this is really an attempt to masuk tv lor! haha.

this is what i pressume,to be the lines that might have took place,
"i ni guru dia. i ajar matapelajaran XXXXXXX" muahahaha."

and this is a true story.
after the session of sandiwara, she asked "eh eh, mak siape ni? mak siape ni? "pointing another lady standing nearby, pressuming she was muh tyng's mother.
well her actual identity was stacy's mother and of course, stacy was -_-".

u see, memang warga sab suka bersandiwara.

anyway,
CONGRATULATIONS to MUH TYNG!!! she actually promised to give me a treat if she did get 4.00 *evil grin*

very well deserving. kinda expected. u see, she's always the top of the top in form6. haha. she worked hard for it and this is a very good example of hardwork pays.

>>fast forward>>

then, i walked to the office to have my photocopied documents certified. i asked the clerk if she can photocopy my results certificate and testimonials, that were given just now.
she refused to help me even i promised her that i'll pay. sigh. no choice but to have it done at petronas, walked back to school and lined up(pn.habibah was quite busy that time)

meanwhile, pearly arrived and was chatting with stacy and wen cheong. wanted to join but forced to return to the office and settle my things. by the time it was done, everyone left, the hall was closed, han xian arrived and we took a cab to town.

had our lunch quickly in low yat food court. after that, headed to redbox for sing-k session. earlier i phoned up may hwa and coincidently she and her friends just came out before we went in. greeted each other and asked abt her results. both she and sze jun did very well too. congrats.

then i was approached by a young pretty girl (haha), she was promoting some hair products. guess what? i was asked to be her model and i'll get a free loreal party proof gel in return. she insisted so terpaksa la. when it's done, she took a photo of mine for some-dunno-what- contest which i will surely lose. aiks... buat malu again ler... -_-"

not only me, but the others as well. all four of us.

sing k sing k sing k...fulled with crappy and crazy moments of course.

>> fast forward>>

we were supposed to stop at 6.00 p.m. but without realising it, we sang till 7 something. ooh, we were actually allowed to sing until 9.00 p.m. but since i promised to meet calvin around 8, we left early lor.

oh, that was the second time we left without kena halau. the 1st time also with wen cheong and in low yat as well.

meet calvin for dinner. before that, he did very well too, so congrats buddy!
we discussed alot of things. i must admit, we really talked about alot of serious stuff this time. that was really a meeting where we spilt out almost everything. yes, it was regarding our future.

left around 11.00 p.m. by the time i reached home, i was damn tired. get me? i was really exchausted.

and i was sick the next day. sigh.

p/s: here it is pearly, though abit late

the most important day in my life has passed. yes, it's over now. it was a meaningful and unforgettable day in my life.

i promise that i will write abt it. everything- what i did, what others did, my feeling, others' feeling and so on. not now, cause there's other more important things to do.

fyi, my result is bad. perhaps some might think i'm just exaggerating but, i know where i stand and i have my reasons why i m unhappy abt it.

i'm will be pretty busy these days. just like the days before-sleepless night. i'm very tired. why there's so much to do before and after it? i really need some rest.

there's so many things that need to be done, yet there isnt much time left.

save me...

at the 11th hour

i cant believe myself. it's so near. less than 12 hours before i will receive my results's script.

phone calls, friends's blog's posts, sms-s, replies in forums are making me damn nervous. seriously.this would be the peak.

something which i copied from friendster:
besides goin to school and take your results, u can also check online and through SMS. how?here is the way..

SMS
key in STPM space, followed by your I/C No. and send to 39003.

ONLINE
log on to www.mpm.edu.my


p/s: all services are only available starting from tmr 11am onwards.

ok, now who wanna try to check through sms?

haha. ok la, guys best wishes from me. we've tried our best. remember:-we survived form6!

stories from workplace

something from workplace worth mentioning. i feel that i really work today.

in the morning, i have to do the chores(cleaning) all by myself. colleague went to collect his result.

a negro man came in and gotta serve him. luckily jasnice arrived just in time, if nt how am i gonna layan his kerenah-mintak discount? anyway, he spent 1800 bucks.

then, 3 men came in and tried lots of clothes. they bought quite alot as well, arnd 900 bucks. so total is : 2700++
untung la boss

was extremely stressful today. need to alter few pants, especially in front of him. damn tension that time. practically the shop was turned upside down.besides, unexpectedly alot customers came in and tried everything. unlike the past few days where almost nobody stepped into the shop. it would be better if they come one by one. haha.

earlier, saw kam seng and gang, was informed abt the school's results. later in the afternoon, bumped into lawrence,andrew and the straight A1 gang, so i straight away congratulated them.wonder if that will pass some of his luck to me? haha

anyone heard of syn? i'm nt sure so i wont elaborate here. well, me wanted to buy some cakes from the cafe in hotel so i asked yow lee to tag along. few lifts were full so we cant get in. by that time,we realized there was a lot ppl in formal attire with the syn badge. mark my words, A LOT. everywhere in times square. at every corner u can see one. suddenly i remember that they are having some sort of part/dinner up there. anyway we got into one lift and as it moved up, it stopped at each floor and yeah, all also syn ppl. haha. i insisted that we must get to 14th floor(where the hotel is) to jakun awhile, but to my dismay, once the door of the lift opened, there were ppl trying to sell tickets. dahsyat.

and out of the blue moon, someone asked me to do him a favour by giving him 5 missed calls. try to figure out the reason behind it.